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dick_cheney's Journal
Created on 2001-07-08 11:59:31 (#232888), last updated 2001-08-11
51 comments received, 45 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
10 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Richard B. Cheney, Vice President |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 01-30 |
| Location: | Casper, Wyoming, United States |
| Website: | Check out my energy plan! |
Contact:
crustyoldrepublican@yahoo.com BioI'm Dick Cheney, Yes I'm the real Cheney,
All you other Dick Cheney's are just imitating,
So won't the real Dick Cheney please stand up.
(Please stand up, please stand up.)
-I believe it was Jon Stewart who said that. Catchy, eh? Them Jews sure can be funny sometimes.
-----------------
I am your Vice President, Richard B. Cheney. I am counting on YOU, the American People, to somehow find a way to make ME, Dick, President. I foresaw this opportunity coming, thanks to my homegirl![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
miss_cleo, which is why I voted against the seven-day waiting period for purchasing handguns. Happy Hunting!
-----------------
There are a lot of people in America today who are worried about me dying in office. Let me take a moment to ease your fears:
-Yes, I have gout. But no one dies from it, right?
-Yes, I have had cancer. But I am rich and can afford the best treatments without the help of any HMO or Patients Bill of Rights.
-Yes, I am severely allergic to pomegranites, and I once almost died from eating one. But that's OK because I am anti-environment, and I am the CEO of an oil company. I can make those damn plants disappear faster than the Bald Eagle!
-Yes, I have mild heart problems. Sure, I've had three or four heart attacks, but who's counting? Sure, I've had several heart surgeries, but who's counting?
Fact of the matter is, folks, I have a pact with the Devil. Mr. Gates has assured me that I will live longer than Strom Thurmond, and I happen to know that Strom is undead. (His first political office was actually held in the Roman Empire. He was very pro-capital punishment, and was responsible for the legislation that killedjesus_christ. Thanks, Strom! Without you, we might all be Pagans and Jews!) That man will be playing Mah Jongg with Cher and bob_dole after my energy plan creates a nuclear holocaust.
All you other Dick Cheney's are just imitating,
So won't the real Dick Cheney please stand up.
(Please stand up, please stand up.)
-I believe it was Jon Stewart who said that. Catchy, eh? Them Jews sure can be funny sometimes.
-----------------
I am your Vice President, Richard B. Cheney. I am counting on YOU, the American People, to somehow find a way to make ME, Dick, President. I foresaw this opportunity coming, thanks to my homegirl
miss_cleo, which is why I voted against the seven-day waiting period for purchasing handguns. Happy Hunting!-----------------
There are a lot of people in America today who are worried about me dying in office. Let me take a moment to ease your fears:
-Yes, I have gout. But no one dies from it, right?
-Yes, I have had cancer. But I am rich and can afford the best treatments without the help of any HMO or Patients Bill of Rights.
-Yes, I am severely allergic to pomegranites, and I once almost died from eating one. But that's OK because I am anti-environment, and I am the CEO of an oil company. I can make those damn plants disappear faster than the Bald Eagle!
-Yes, I have mild heart problems. Sure, I've had three or four heart attacks, but who's counting? Sure, I've had several heart surgeries, but who's counting?
Fact of the matter is, folks, I have a pact with the Devil. Mr. Gates has assured me that I will live longer than Strom Thurmond, and I happen to know that Strom is undead. (His first political office was actually held in the Roman Empire. He was very pro-capital punishment, and was responsible for the legislation that killed
jesus_christ. Thanks, Strom! Without you, we might all be Pagans and Jews!) That man will be playing Mah Jongg with Cher and bob_dole after my energy plan creates a nuclear holocaust. ConnectInterests (34):
anti-welfare, assasination, big business, big tobacco, campaign donations, chevron, conservative, desert storm, dick cheney, girl scout cookies, gop, guns, heart surgery, hmos, military, millionaires, missile defense shield, nambla, nitro, nra, nuclear weapons, oil, oil companies, pacemakers, pollution, power plants, pro-life, regan, republicans, right-wing, tax cuts, texans, tobacco, wyoming
External Services:
 | dick_cheney@livejournal.com |
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